There is something about the end of a school year that motivates me to look into what i really want to do and that time is now for me. I thinks its just that i hate not knowing what the future hold for me i feel like maybe I'll find a great oportunity that i won't be prepared for, so then i feel like i have to prepare for anything and that is just too stressful. There was a "I Don't know what to do with my life" panel the other week and I decided to go and unsurprisingly it helped me out. Its not like they presented every option out there but they said "you can't just expect a great oportunity to come knocking on the door your have to go out and look for it" which my seem obvious but it was pretty much what i was doing. For now the most immediate question/decision on my mind is wether or not to go into graduate school right after undergraduate. Should I work, where should i work, which option will be beneficial in applying to grad school, what grad school will take me, what do i want to study in grad school, what question will i investigate. there are so many question i still have which makes me incline towards waiting before applying to graduate school but i think over all whats behind all my questions and decisions is how my choices are seen in the eyes of my parents. which really shouldn't be there, but since they finance my school its there. Which in turn makes me seek an option that allows me to gain more independence so that my choice in career is not influence by anyother person but myself I really can't belive i am at this point in my life i never though i would get here but i am and i am so exhited for my future and actually begining my own life because my life still belong to my parents, its sad but its true ps i love xanga i don't know why i don't write more often its theraputic | 
